To My Kindred Spirits…

I decided to take a break from the telling of my story to write a little letter to y’all (yes, I love my “y’alls!”). I am technically a Southerner because I live below the Mason-Dixon Line – others will differ, because a Mid-Atlantic Southerner is not the same as a True Southerner (my relatives stem from North Carolina – and I have absorbed some stuff).  I’m cool with that – hope you are, too.

                 Grab a warm cup of something delicious, and sit down in your favorite chair.

Hello friends, I am noticing a theme on these pages, and I am part of it, too.  We are all broken people seeking to be made whole again – searching for the perfect healing, the perfect words, the perfect relationship or the perfect answer to prayer.  Yet, I don’t think God wants us to be whole again.  Yes, you heard me correctly.  I think He wants us to stay broken (stay with me on this). I also think our brokenness happened in stages: …full out splashed on the floor in pieces, …still in pieces, but in a safe place to be put back together (waiting, preparation), … beginning stages of repair – we found WHO can best repair us  (God), … middle stages of reconstruction – absorbing the good stuff  (the WORD)from the WHO, and, …total reconstruction – not back to the way we were – but better – cracks and all – (salt & light). We would not be where we are today, on these pages, forming a community of hope, if we never experienced the death of a loved one, the devastating medical diagnosis, the horrible and unspeakable abuse, our own or a family member’s addiction, heart-breaking loneliness, the more-than-challenging child, the lost job, or the dwindling bank account.

Shadows of our Hearts - klw-2014

God used these to show us where we need to place our trust – in HIM.  And once we placed our trust in Him, we began to see the light (the shine) back in our lives, little by little – but we noticed it. And others started to, as well.  It affected us so powerfully, that we had to learn more and delve into His Word.  And when we read it, certain passages leapt from the pages as personal letters guiding us as to the next steps in our lives. But wait, “I’m still broken, “you say. You bet you are! How else can God shine His light to the rest of the world?

ONLY through our brokenness

With a grateful heart to my many kindred spirits on these pages, Kristin

 

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Love & Coffee (part 2 of my story)

My first post may have led you to believe I figured this whole death-grief-life thing out. Sorry to disappoint y’all, but not even close.

See, I didn’t always trust that there was a plan for me.  I mean, really, who was going to fully rely on some supposedly omnipotent being called God and let Him control their life?  I certainly wasn’t.  I was stronger than that.  I didn’t need God in my life.  I was outraged that He took my Daddy away from me; and I fought back.

I was not a sheep.  That was my philosophy on the whole God thing.  I was not going to be led. I was taking charge of my own life. I was stronger than God. Push me and I’ll push back –  just ask my mom!

I was interning at a drug/alcohol rehabilitation center, finishing up my degree in psychology, working at a local coffee shop, running through the grief, and charging through life. No one was going to tell me how to live MY life.  No one.

Then someone walked into my life.  Someone I had no idea would help me learn so much from Life and from God.

Jimmy.

love over a cup of coffee

He would come in to the coffee store to buy several large coffees for him and his co-workers. Which meant he would deplete us of coffee!  So I brewed another pot each time and we would talk.  I got the courage to call him up one day and ask for his assistance on a project, and he so boldly replied, “on one condition, that you have dinner with me.”

We went to dinner and we realized that our paths had crossed multiple times in the past and we had no clue.  His band played my Junior Ring Dance, he did some work at the drug/alcohol rehab in which I interned (he was THE cute guy I asked my co-workers about), and we had ridden horses at the same barn ( he may have even helped teach at my riding camp).  

We fell head over heels in love, two broken people, and got married exactly one year after our first date.

The Plan…