My Chat with God ( part 6 in my story)

Alright, God, you want me to do what?

Stay with your husband.

Ok, what am I suppose to do here?

Let. Go.

Huh?

Let ME handle it.

HOW in the world are you going to do that?

In time you will see.

Ugh….really God?  Can’t you just perform a miracle or something and banish the disease?

Have a little faith in ME. {can’t you just see the grin?}

How am I supposed to do that when I feel like the ground has fallen out from beneath me?

beginning

beginning

One day at a time –one hour, one minute or one breath at a time, if you need to.

You do realize you are telling a control-freak worrywart to turn everything over to you, right?

Yes. I do.

Where were you when this was all happening?!

Beside you…

Do you remember the car accident when you were four months pregnant?  The one when Jimmy was driving you to work?  When the little white car turned in front of you making your husband’s red truck spin into oncoming traffic? With the child you had just conceived through your second round of in-vitro fertilization?  She was four months old in your womb.  I was there.  There were angels, including your father, all around protecting you and Lil Miss Abigail.  You didn’t feel the impact – you were not assaulted by the air bags, you were not cut by your seat belt or pelted by any shards of glass.  You were safe in my arms.  That’s where you will always be.  Trust in me. Rest in me.

Deep breath…

Release the shoulder tension with a deep sigh…

I will.

One minute at a time.

One hour at a time.

One day at a time.

I will learn to trust again.

Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. – 1 Peter 5: 7

 

To My Kindred Spirits…

I decided to take a break from the telling of my story to write a little letter to y’all (yes, I love my “y’alls!”). I am technically a Southerner because I live below the Mason-Dixon Line – others will differ, because a Mid-Atlantic Southerner is not the same as a True Southerner (my relatives stem from North Carolina – and I have absorbed some stuff).  I’m cool with that – hope you are, too.

                 Grab a warm cup of something delicious, and sit down in your favorite chair.

Hello friends, I am noticing a theme on these pages, and I am part of it, too.  We are all broken people seeking to be made whole again – searching for the perfect healing, the perfect words, the perfect relationship or the perfect answer to prayer.  Yet, I don’t think God wants us to be whole again.  Yes, you heard me correctly.  I think He wants us to stay broken (stay with me on this). I also think our brokenness happened in stages: …full out splashed on the floor in pieces, …still in pieces, but in a safe place to be put back together (waiting, preparation), … beginning stages of repair – we found WHO can best repair us  (God), … middle stages of reconstruction – absorbing the good stuff  (the WORD)from the WHO, and, …total reconstruction – not back to the way we were – but better – cracks and all – (salt & light). We would not be where we are today, on these pages, forming a community of hope, if we never experienced the death of a loved one, the devastating medical diagnosis, the horrible and unspeakable abuse, our own or a family member’s addiction, heart-breaking loneliness, the more-than-challenging child, the lost job, or the dwindling bank account.

Shadows of our Hearts - klw-2014

God used these to show us where we need to place our trust – in HIM.  And once we placed our trust in Him, we began to see the light (the shine) back in our lives, little by little – but we noticed it. And others started to, as well.  It affected us so powerfully, that we had to learn more and delve into His Word.  And when we read it, certain passages leapt from the pages as personal letters guiding us as to the next steps in our lives. But wait, “I’m still broken, “you say. You bet you are! How else can God shine His light to the rest of the world?

ONLY through our brokenness

With a grateful heart to my many kindred spirits on these pages, Kristin

 

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